Conquering 2015

I don't like to make New Year's resolutions because they're always too idyllic and I never end up adhering to them. But truth be told, there are things that I want to do more this year so I've taken a new spin on my resolutions. Instead of making changes in my character like those cliches (don't procrastinate, be nicer, be happier, etc), I'm directly targeting things in my personal life to change that'll lead to those idyllic character changes.

These will get personal. I tried to keep it brief. (not written in any particular order of priority)

1. Talk to my dad more. My parents separated four years ago and he lives in Korea now and even though I do miss him a lot, I rarely make the effort to reach out to him.
2. Be more efficient. I don't have to always spend hours studying if I can focus for a short, direct amount of time. Plus that also indirectly conquers the issue of procrastination and gets me to focus harder on academics.
3. Put more effort into crew. I want to push myself a lot athletically on the rowing team that I joined so I can quit complaining to myself about my insecurities and actually be really fit.
4. Be happier and more confident with myself. This comes from multiple reasons: so that emotionally I don't feel the need to be dependent on a significant other, so that personally, I'm okay with who I am and quit comparing myself to others, so that I become less aware of what others' judgment of me might be.
5. Blog more. I have this blog but I'm absolutely rubbish at keeping it up.
6. Ditto with journaling.
7. Take piano more seriously. Music is a huge part of my life and I really do want to keep it up.
8. Learn music theory. I've never had the patience to do this...
9. Actually take and complete a coursera course! I always enroll then never do it.
10. Call home more while in college. Last night, I heard my mom speak about her experience while I've been away in the east coast and while I am away for school and education, I can't forsake back home and especially my single mother. I love her to death and I feel like a horrible child not caring enough to call her and making sure she has company... Coming home to a dark, empty house everyday isn't fun for anyone.
11. Religiously, be more active and don't be ashamed of it.
12. Don't lose my LA fashion in the east coast!
13. Learn how to manage my credit card. Credit debt. Sucks. Period.
14. Bring my mom over for parents weekend in the fall with savings.
15. Don't throw up from drinking and quit creating regretful situations (boy wise).
16. Chip off my humongous to-read list. (I will one day make a post about this!)

I have lots of hopes for 2015. This past year was great in its own way: I finally graduated from my shit hole of a high school and I found myself at one of my top-pick colleges and I'm absolutely loving it. However, 2014 was the year I stressed myself out so much that I imploded and constantly was lazy, unproductive, and just weighed down. There were moments when I truly never felt happy and felt on the brink of depression. (I'm not just saying this; I've been clinically diagnosed before.)

2015 will be the year that I blossom into the adult figure I aspire and imagine myself to be. I'll finally feel like the person others make me out to be: bubbly, hardworking, determined, accomplished, smart, talented, responsible, and confident. I'm good at acting. But from now on, I want to feel it and live it for myself.

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